|Manda La Bay|
Having become enlightened during an underwater Golden Spiral meditation gig, Ms Manda La Bay emerged like a phoenix from the briny deep to spread her message of peace, love, and big tits to all the world. Her appearance at the White Swallow Bar and Grill in Bangkok was hailed as the most impressive blow-off since Valentine Michael Smith returned from Mars, but her most recent performance at the Cabarrus County Fair in Concord, NC, USA turned ugly when a police raid ignited a riot by the devotees of Ms La Bay. Amidst the chaos and occasional mayhem, the outraged fans overturned a Funnel Cake Wagon, and set fire to Troutman's Barbecue Stand. Although Manda was cuffed and hauled off in a paddy wagon, when it arrived at the Concord City Jail, the controversial lady had miraculously vanished. The following day, The Independent Tribune reported that a young couple traveling with their three young'uns on the Trailways Bus Line to St. Louis, MO (Ms La Bay's hometown) recounted how they shared a repast of livermush on Zesta Crackers and liters of Cheerwine soda with the famished lady. On the morning of September 23, 2007 at 9:51AM, tourists, cameras at the ready, documented Ms La Bay's ascension into Oneness with Being in a breathtaking display beneath the famed Jefferson Memorial Arch. One shutterbug from Beijing, who three days earlier had participated in his country's negotiation to forgive the U.S. debt in exchange for Yosemite National Park, upon witnessing Manda's ascension, had a heart attack, fell into the Mississippi River, died, and immediately reincarnated as a catfish with a birthmark of a cuttlefish just above its pelvic fin. Forty-four years later, the now giant catfish became the main entre at the Aluminum bayou wedding anniversary party of Leon and Magnolia Thibodeaux.